


Trust Fall

by Shujinkakusama



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Pearlnet Bomb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:12:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shujinkakusama/pseuds/Shujinkakusama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place during "Too Far." Pearl ruminates on her abuse of Garnet's trust after the mess at the Communications Hub until she nears her breaking point. // Pearlnetbomb 2.0 Day 2: Trust, Pearlnet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust Fall

She’d ruined everything.

 

Pearl still shook sometimes at the memory of Sugilite’s raw power after Sardonyx’s final show. Garnet had put trust in her that she hadn’t understood the depth or value of until it was destroyed. Months later, with everything behind them, with apologies and one last bid at fusion in the most dire of circumstances long passed, Pearl still felt like she was walking on glass around her best friend.

 

Could she even call her that now? Pearl wondered miserably, but she didn’t have the brevity to ask. Garnet still allowed her to take her arm, sometimes. But the Fusion didn’t seek her out at night, barely spoke to her when they were alone, and Pearl wondered if things would ever be right again.

 

Not that she had earned it. Not yet.

 

Pearl worked tirelessly, but it never felt anywhere near adequate. There was no real opportunity to fight monsters to prove her strength; their focus had been on the drill, on the looming threat of the Cluster.

 

She nearly cried when Garnet praised her after the giant robot fight. Tired, battered, but filled with adrenalin, it was all she could do not to burst into relieved tears when Garnet settled her hand briefly over her Gem, then between her shoulders. It was the closest thing to normalcy she had felt in weeks, and it set her heart pounding.

 

Pearl snuck glances Garnet’s way while she worked on the drill, and several times had been rewarded with a loose bolt from the cockpit bouncing off of her face for her distraction. Still, she wanted that distance to close again, to have the space that existed between them blur without needing to fuse.

 

“Garnet,” Pearl said one afternoon, approaching her in the barn. The drill was nearly functional—ready for preliminary testing, with the shell of an open cockpit built for two—but it had been an agonizing four hours of silence while the others had been in the Kindergarten gathering supplies. Amethyst had returned in a dour mood, while Steven and Peridot tried to sort things out, which only resulted in the latter pitching a tantrum. Garnet wasn’t unhelpful, exactly. Neither was she unkind. But she didn’t speak to Pearl while they were alone, and Pearl had barely been able to concentrate in the deafening silence. Garnet wandered off a few times, and Pearl wondered if it were because she knew, through her future vision, that her comrade wanted to talk to her in private.

 

But finally, they had a moment alone. Garnet was organizing who-knew-what in the barn, and the others were busy enough outside. It took all of Pearl’s brevity to approach her, to step into the cool shade where Garnet was working.

 

“Pearl,” was Garnet’s flat response, and Pearl felt her gut twist into horrible knots at the dullness there. She couldn’t tell what Garnet was trying to mask, but it certainly wasn’t happiness to hear from her.

 

“I… I wanted to talk to you. Alone,” Pearl managed at length, wide blue eyes searching Garnet’s face. She saw herself in the Fusion’s visor, small and not very strong at all. Her hands flew to her sash, twisting the fabric until she was sure it would tear. “Is that okay, Garnet?”

 

“We’re alone,” Garnet said, and then, abruptly, she sighed. “You’ve been trying to get me alone for a while.”

 

Pearl stiffened, feeling her cheeks flood with color. “W-well, yes,” she admitted, “Since Steven’s ‘Robolympics’… and before that.”

 

“You don’t need to apologize again,” Garnet’s voice was low, “Or justify it. It’s behind us.”

 

“It’s not,” Pearl interjected, adding in a rush; “It’s not really. It’s still between us. Garnet, things are so strained now, and I don’t blame you for being angry, but it’s _not_ behind us. It’s still there. You’re still angry, and you’ve a right to be. But…”

 

Her voice trailed off miserably as the beginnings of tears started to flood her vision, and Garnet’s hands found her shoulders. Pearl blinked at her tears, cursed her weakness under her breath in a whisper so quiet that even at close quarters Garnet couldn’t make it out.

 

“Pearl,” Garnet said gently, “You should sit. Don’t cry.”

 

“I can’t help it!” Pearl tried not to wail, and to her credit, it came out in a hiss. Still, as Garnet steered her away, her legs obeyed, and she sank down on top of an old hope chest. Her friend knelt in front of her, face impassive, but she wiped her tears so gently that Pearl sobbed all over again.

 

The moment couldn’t last. The others were outside, Pearl knew, but she crumpled bonelessly into Garnet when the Fusion pulled her into a hug. “You don’t have to say anything.”

 

“We’re still talking,” Pearl sobbed raggedly, around choking hiccups that shook her small frame, and Garnet shushed her. “We’re still… Garnet, I don’t know how to fix this. I’m trying. I’m trying everything I know how. I want things to be right again. I want there to be _us_ again.”

 

“ _Us_ ,” Garnet murmured, “We’re still _us_ , Pearl.”

 

“We’re not!” Pearl cried, long and hard, clinging to Garnet’s torso with shaking hands desperate for purchase on the back of her light armor. “You’re so far away,” the alabaster Gem sobbed, “Like I’ll never reach you again. And it’s my fault, I know it is, but Garnet I can’t… I don’t know what to do without you! You’re my best friend, and I love you _so much_ , and I ruined your trust like a—a complete, thoughtless, awful, horrible—“

 

“Pearl…”

 

“—I hurt you, and I never wanted to, and I never want to do it again, but I won’t blame you if you never let me back in, but I’m sure I’ll crack—“

 

“Pearl.”

 

The rest of Pearl’s ramblings were cut short by warm, pliant lips pressed to her open mouth. Pearl gasped, blue eyes going wide and round, and Garnet waited for her to recover without pulling away. It was only a moment, but Pearl kissed back with thousands of years worth of pent-up longing, and Garnet surprised her by returning the kiss with equal gusto.

 

When they parted, Pearl sniffed piteously, blotchy-cheeked and red-eyed, but with a dazed smile that mirrored Garnet’s.

 

“Pearl,” Garnet said again, and this time, the smaller Gem had no choice but to listen. Garnet cupped her face in her palms, warm and cold against her damp cheeks. “I haven’t been avoiding you because I’m still angry. I’m still _hurt_ , but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop loving you. You’re my best friend. It’s hard to _be_ angry with you.” Garnet paused, pushing Pearl’s tear-dampened hair away from her eyes. “You make it hard. I wanted to give you more space before we… before anything else changed.”

 

To Pearl’s surprise, Garnet chuckled, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her temple. “You change my fate more often than you realize, Pearl. I didn’t think we would be having this conversation anytime soon.”

 

“Because of what I did?” Pearl whispered, and Garnet offered a shrug, smoothing her thumb along the curve of Pearl’s cheek to wipe away the last of her tears.

 

“It’s always the wrong time,” Garnet said slowly, “Maybe I’ve been putting it off too long.” She paused. “I didn’t mean to hurt you either, Pearl. Please believe that.”

 

“I do,” Pearl whispered, wiping her nose and drawing in a shaky breath. “I never thought you did. Nothing I didn’t deserve, anyw—“

 

“ _Pearl_. I wasn’t trying to punish you,” Garnet’s voice was firm, and Pearl felt her doubt melting away. “You’re my best friend. I should have talked to you more afterwards instead of pretending it would all go away.”

 

The smaller Gem nodded minutely, then reached forward, fingers deftly brushing Garnet’s cheek below her visor. “Are we—are we okay now?” Pearl managed, eyes flitting from Garnet’s lips, back up to where her eyes were hidden. “I want to make things right, Garnet, I know it will take time, but…”

 

To Pearl’s immeasurable surprise, Garnet chuckled, and she leaned in again to steal a much softer kiss this time. “I think we’re more than okay,” she said smoothly, but something tickled at the back of her mind, a nagging feeling that she couldn’t shake behind her third eye. She glanced up. “Unfortunately, we may be the only ones for the moment.”

 

“What?” Pearl asked, alarmed, and the roar of the drill activating cut through the otherwise quiet afternoon. Pearl leapt to her feet, drawing Garnet up with her, instinctively curling long fingers around her arm the way she had for centuries. “They’re testing it already?”

 

“I don’t think it’s a test,” Garnet said grimly, but she leaned down for one last kiss. “We’ll pick up later. Trust me.”

 

Pearl nodded, and over the sound of the drill roaring outside, Steven and Peridot could be heard shouting. “Steven!?” Pearl exclaimed, slipping away, and Garnet knew that ‘later’ was a long, long way off.


End file.
